Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
