maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
