Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
