It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
