I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
