id be glad to
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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