she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
