I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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