So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Do vagina's smell?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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