i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
