Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
