His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Houston, we have a squirter
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
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