what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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