doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
