Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
did you just send me my own nude
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Randomize
