I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
