Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
