he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
