Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
