Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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