Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
