I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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