Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
