Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
We smell like vodka and hangover
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
