i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Randomize
