He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
