Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
