PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
