I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
