i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
