i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize