yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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