): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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