remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
