I love black thongs
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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