So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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