I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Semen is not good for contacts.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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