Taylor Swift is so right about you.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Randomize
