i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
