I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
