I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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