Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
