just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
