i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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