Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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