i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
