in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
