What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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