Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
