he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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